Lies and online dating….

“about 20 percent of online daters admit to deception. If you ask them how many other people are lying, however–an interviewing tactic that probably gets closer to the truth–that number jumps to 90 percent.”

So quotes an interesting Scientific American article on online dating. (via here)

My experience was that people do lie, though I really cannot explain why. The lies I caught in my online dating escapades included presence of children (profile said no, but she said yes) and two egregious photo lies (where I could not reconcile the profile photo with the individuals I met). Given that I only met about 10 folk through online dating, that’s a 30% bad-lies rate. scary.

“online height is exaggerated by only an inch or so for both men and women but that women appear to understate their weight more and more as they get older: by five pounds when they are in their 20s, 17 pounds in their 30s and 19 pounds in their 40s.”……….”..the shorter and heavier people are, the bigger the lies..”

[19 pounds = 8.6 Kg, which is decidingly non-trivial]

I wouldn’t think of cheating on height – it is too measurable – but it turns out that this is a big parameter for women searching for men. Weight is the huge parameter for men searching for women, and leaving it blank means than men will assume the candidate has portly dimensions.

Age appears be be faked a lot as well – with spikes at suspicious ages like 29, 35 and 44 in the US. With 40 looming for me perhaps it’s time for a re-assessment of my birth-date? But then who would want to start a relationship based on a foundation of lies?

Overall, lying on your online dating profile may make you receive more responses, and may make you initially feel better. But it sure as anything will not help you find “the one” – the one person that actually likes the way you are (short, fat, ugly in your eyes is petite, cute and beautiful in your beaus). I’m a huge fan of honesty in dating profiles, both in what you are and what you want. I’d rather receive a handful of replies from women that fit my uniquely personal and somewhat daunting criteria than 100’s of replies to a fake profile.

I’ll go out on a limb here – I’d guess that in NZ FindSomeone profiles are far far less likely to be fake than those of competitor NZDating. I’d also guess that paid profiles (“Gold Members”) are the most unlikely to be fake, and the higher the fees the higher the integrity.

Now – if somebody could just do the research to back this up…..

Published by Lance Wiggs


One reply on “Lies and online dating….”

  1. I also found many liars on Internet dating. I saw an American behavioral study which concluded that 52.6% of men lied about their height, compared with 39% of women. Also, 24.3 percent of men lied about their age, while 13.1 percent of women did. Recently I found a better dating site( that has less liars than other sites. Hope I can find someone there.


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