The sage of Omaha speaks

Warren Buffet’s yearly missive is out. Essential reading for anyone interested in investing. Here are some tasty snippets:

“You only learn who has been swimming naked when the tide goes out – and what we are witnessing at some of our largest financial institutions is an ugly sight.

It’s better to have a part interest in the Hope Diamond than to own all of a rhinestone.

if a business requires a superstar to produce great results, the business itself cannot be deemed
great.

Going to any other flight-training provider than the best is like taking the low bid on a surgical procedure.

The worst sort of business is one that grows rapidly, requires significant capital to engender the growth, and then earns little or no money.  Think airlines. 

(My behavior resembled that of a politician Molly Ivins once described: “If his I.Q. was any lower, you would have to water him twice a day.”)

A line from Bobby Bare’s country song explains what too often happens with acquisitions: “I’ve never gone to bed with an ugly woman, but I’ve sure woke up with a few.”

The best anecdote I’ve heard during the current presidential campaign came from Mitt Romney, who asked his wife, Ann, “When we were young, did you ever in your wildest dreams think I might be president?”  To which she replied, “Honey, you weren’t in my wildest dreams.”

Former Senator Alan Simpson famously said: “Those who travel the high road in Washington need not fear heavy traffic.”  If he had sought truly deserted streets, however, the Senator should have looked to Corporate America’s accounting.

I should mention that people who expect to earn 10% annually from equities during this century – envisioning that 2% of that will come from dividends and 8% from price appreciation – are implicitly forecasting a level of about 24,000,000 on the Dow by 2100.  If your adviser talks to you about double-digit returns from equities, explain this math to him – not that it will faze him.  Many helpers are apparently direct descendants of the queen in Alice in Wonderland, who said: “Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”  Beware the glib helper who fills your head with fantasies while he fills his pockets with fees.

A fellow was on an important business trip in Europe when his sister called to tell him that their dad had died.  Her brother explained that he couldn’t get back but said to spare nothing on the funeral, whose cost he would cover.  When he returned, his sister told him that the service had been beautiful and presented him with bills totaling $8,000.  He paid up but a month later received a bill from the mortuary for $10.  He paid that, too – and still another $10 charge he received a month later.  When a third $10 invoice was sent to him the following month, the perplexed man called his sister to ask what was going on.  “Oh,” she replied, “I forgot to tell you.  We buried Dad in a rented suit.”

Every day is exciting to us; no wonder we tap-dance to work.  But nothing is more fun for us than getting together with our shareholder-partners at Berkshire’s annual meeting.  So join us on May 3rd at the Qwest for our annual Woodstock for Capitalists.  We’ll see you there.

At 9:30 we will go directly to the question-and-answer period, which (with a break for lunch at the Qwest’s stands) will last until 3:00.